Disorders related to attachment
Many children in foster care have had tough and painful experiences with their biological parents. These children have been consistently mistreated from a young age by someone who was supposed to take care of them. This kind of past can cause Complex Trauma, attachment disorders, and Reactive Attachment Disorder to develop. Kids who have been mistreated, like being ignored or hurt physically or emotionally, are more likely to have serious mental health issues.
Attachment is the strong and long-lasting bond that forms between a child and their caregiver during the early years of life. It has a big impact on your child’s growth, how they show feelings, and build relationships.
A child who has trouble forming secure bonds or has an attachment issue lacks the abilities needed to create important connections with others. Nevertheless, by using the correct tools and dedicating time, effort, patience, and care, it is possible to address and fix attachment issues. Between half and four-fifths of children in Foster Care show symptoms of attachment disorders. A lot of these kids are aggressive and violent. When they grow up, they might have different mental issues and personality disorders like antisocial personality, narcissistic personality, borderline personality, and psychopathic personality. Therapeutic parenting is often needed to help these children recover.
Many parents are not familiar with this parenting method and it requires a lot of effort and planning. Attachment promoting parenting is based on attachment theory and a set of principles.
• Being sensitive
• Being quick to respond
• Paying attention to what the child is interested in
• Sharing similar experiences with others.
• Making people feel safe and secure
To put these principles into practice, parents need to:
• Are very dedicated to the child.
• Be good at thinking about things.
• Have good understanding.
• Feel somewhat secure in your emotional connections.
This parenting style aligns with a proven and successful therapy for children with trauma and attachment issues called Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. Many foster and adoptive parents feel confused and worried by their children’s unusual and unsettling behaviors. Parents often don’t understand why their child behaves the way they do. They might think, “My child is safe now, why doesn’t he understand?” Understanding the extent of harm from past mistreatment can be challenging.
Therapeutic parenting using Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy focuses on helping parents understand the reasons behind their child’s behaviors. Exploring further to comprehend what is driving the child. All actions have a purpose and serve a function; however, sometimes behaviors that were helpful in one place may not be suitable in a new environment. If your parents didn’t take good care of you when you were young, leaving you hungry and alone for long periods, it makes sense that you might start storing food, overeating, and seeking help from anyone you can. When a child is placed in a foster or adoptive home with loving and attentive parents, that behavior is no longer necessary.
By knowing what is causing the behavior and understanding the child’s feelings of fear, worry, embarrassment, and anger, the new parent can react better to the emotions behind the behavior instead of just focusing on the visible behavior or signs. If the feelings at the root of the issue are not dealt with carefully in a safe, loving, and supportive environment at home, the behavior or symptoms are unlikely to go away.They might turn into different issues, but if the main reason stays the same, the problems will keep coming back.
The Necessary Principles
Children who have experienced trauma and have trouble expressing their feelings and thoughts rely on their parents to help them learn how to do so. Yes, that’s exactly what you do with a baby, young child, and older child. We frequently assist children in handling their feelings by being there for them. When a baby cries, we hold and comfort the baby, which helps to calm the baby down and regulate their emotions. As time goes by, the baby gets better at doing things on their own. A foster or adoptive parent needs to be aware of their child’s feelings so they can understand and address the emotions that influence their behavior.
RESPONDING PROMPTLY: Once the main feeling is recognized, the parent should react to this need or emotion, being understanding. When a child’s needs are met (such as feeling safe, loved, cared for, having food, drinks, joy, etc.), they will adopt new and healthier relationship models and parental figures.
FOLLOWING THE CHILD’S LEAD: This means that parents should pay attention to their child’s needs and provide comfort, affection, support, and structure at the child’s own pace. It is crucial to go at the child’s speed to help them feel safe and secure.
SHARING SIMILAR EXPERIENCES WITH OTHERS: Inter-subjectivity means feeling the same emotions, focusing on the same things, and having the same goals as others. You can grasp this idea by imagining playing a board game with your kid. When you play a game with someone and have a good time, you are sharing feelings (happiness and feeling capable), focusing on the game together, and both aiming to follow the rules, win, and have fun.
Sharing similar experiences together helps children heal and understand intimacy and relationships.
ESTABLISHING A FEELING OF BEING SAFE AND PROTECTED: Safety is the most important thing. If the child is not safe in every way, they cannot get better. It is the parent’s responsibility to make sure the child feels safe and protected. This allows us to explore our deep emotions, thoughts, and memories. Without a partnership, there can’t be a safe foundation. Without a safe foundation, there can’t be any discovery. Without discovering new things, it is impossible to combine or bring together different elements. Healing cannot happen without bringing things together.
If the child doesn’t feel secure, they can’t explore.